It has been a long time since I posted because life happened. I am back because of a terrifying epidemic.
Once upon a time, I was 14. This was almost 20 years ago. I know, I know, and yes, people WERE alive back then. So why does it matter that I was 14 and a girl at the same time? Because I have experience.
20 years ago, I was weird and awkward. I wasn't the skinniest or the prettiest or from the richest family. I also had crushes on guys who friend-zoned me. A LOT. I had friends who weren't friends. They just wanted to bang my friends, so they pretended to be friends with me. I did have boyfriends here and there. Some long term, some short. I had friends who I got into trouble with and friends who helped keep me out of trouble. I got picked on and backed up. I smoked, I drank, I got high and I constantly felt like I was ugly, out of place, fat, stupid, unimportant and out of place. You know what? So did, as I later found out, 98% of everyone else I went to school with.
I say 98% because you always have that 2% who thinks they shit gold and puke rainbows. Pitty them. Reality may never set in, and that, my friend, is sad.
Anyway, to the 98% of you who are normal, here are some things you need to know, and please take it seriously:
1 - Life doesn't end in middle school
2 - Life doesn't end in high school
3 - There is always time to reinvent yourself and do it until YOU (not anyone you think you need to impress), are happy, or at least content. Content is good too.
Ok, that brings me to the next part.
This is important.
Seriously! Super important!
4 - Girls...please...stop stop STOP posting naked or half naked or explicit pictures of yourself on the internet.
This is the part where you get really pissy and start mumbling things to yourself like "Bitch, this is MY body. I have the right to do what I want with it and if YOU don't like it, DON'T look".
To that I say this: You are right. I don't have to look and neither do your 1,120 Instagram followers. Here is the problem though, they will. They will also share and repost...over and over and over.
You are also right about it being YOUR body and that you have the right to do with it as you wish. Remember that if someone ever attempts to take advantage of you or bully you into doing something you feel is wrong.
Here is what you should STOP giving yourself the right to do.
STOP exploiting yourself. Once something is out there, that's it. The internet is funny like that. Trying to 100% eradicate something from the internet is like trying to shove toothpaste back into the tube. Don't believe me? Ask your local politician...or a Kardashian.
But seriously, you are barely a teenager. Stop putting sexually suggestive or sexually obvious pictures of you on the internet. Why? Because you are better than that. Because you are stronger than that. Because you are smarter than that. Because guys don't see it as "She is a strong woman" but rather as "I bet she is a hit it and quit it". Believe it or not, but boys your age aren't known for seeing beyond what is in front of them (and the older they get, the worse it gets). Why do you think you constantly hear the woman in your house telling the man in your house "MOVE THE MILK OUT OF THE WAY AND YOU WILL SEE THE DAMN MAYONNAISE!!!"?
Do you have a better shot at getting a guy to date you if you look like a freak on Instagram or Snapchat or whatever? Yes. You also have a better chance of getting the type of guy who is going to make you seem like a THOT to everyone you both know. You might even get the type of guy who hunts THOTS on the regular and will pass on an STD, which will lead to a VERY interesting discussion with your parent or guardian.
Then there is the legal issue. If you or your BAE have naked or half naked pictures of eachother (or anyone else who is under 18, and don't act like it doesn't happen), you are STILL GUILTY of child pornography. If you showed it to anyone or sent it to anyone, you are now GUILTY of distribution. Awesome, right?
Now let's go, say, 10 years into the future. When you apply for jobs, which most of you will, your potential bosses CAN AND WILL Google you. Pics, websites, social media accounts, you name it! They go through all of it! Especially if you decide you want a job with the government. They go through it all and they have the right to. There is no such thing as privacy on the internet.
We all have a trail. Think of the one you want to leave behind.
Girl, if you are 12, 13, 14, 15, 16...seriously, you have 60 - 80 years to go before you leave this life. You are just at the beginning.
5 - Stop watching porn! Like, you need to stop yesterday. No, you need to stop last week.
A) Your brain is not emotionally developed enough to handle that.
B) You and your bf or gf are too stupid (yeah, I said stupid), to understand that just like a regular movie with cartoon monsters and dragons, ITS MADE UP! ITS NOT REAL! Stop trying to do or saying you are going to do the things you are watching paid adult actors do. Believing porn is real or realistic is like believing you are going to wake up with mutant super powers! Just stop it! And STOP calling your boyfriends DADDY! He isn't your pimp and its creepy!
You are a kid who is in the awkward stage of slowly turning into an adult and that's ok. Enjoy it.
6 - Don't sext your bf (or gf). Its tacky. It also creates an expectation for how things are supposed to go down when you see eachother in person. Be real! Allow me to demonstrate:
Correct - "Yo, we need to chill soon. Let's meet up at the mall. Get pizza or whatever. Lmn"
Incorrect - "Yo, when I see you, I'ma ______ all over your ______! Ooooh, can't wait babe! You got me feelin like I wanna _______"
Seriously. I am not saying you need to be a nun. I am saying take your time, be proud of who you are. Be the kind of person your kids or neices/nephews will be proud of. Don't be cheap. Be you.